Temptation
by AnglesAndAirwaves
Summary: What would have happened if Lily Evans hadn't been sorted into Gryffindor? AU Marauder fic
1. First Acquaintances

**Temptation**

Disclaimer: All the marauders are property of the wonderful, over imaginative JK Rowling

Lily Evans had known Severus Snape for most of her childhood. When her sister Petunia insisted on referring to him as "that creepy boy" who lived across the river, Lily was the first to come to his defense, even before they had become friends.

She often questioned why she had such an irrational attachment to this admittedly strange dark haired boy. She thought it might be the fact that he was different.

Different like her.

Lily had always known she was different. It wasn't just in the obvious ways - the striking red hair and intelligence far beyond her age - she also happened to be around when funny things occurred. Very funny things indeed. She was starting to question if it were only a coincidence that whenever she seemed to be in trouble something strange and unexpected would occur - anything from books flying rapidly across the room to teachers' hair turning violent shades of blue.

She didn't like being different. She asked Petunia if anything similar happened to her, her sister would wickedly laugh and threaten to tell her mother and father on Lily for telling tales. She took this as a no. this made Lily feel very alone.

Perhaps it was this reason that she confronted the boy from across the river. Maybe she thought that he looked so desperate in need of friends that he wouldn't dare call her weird or a freak. But most likely it was because she sensed he too was different.

It took her a while to find him in a place where he was alone, where they wouldn't be overhead. She found him down by the river, his clothes odd as always, but he seemed happier than she had seen him before, more relaxed.

She watched him curiously before she gained the courage to speak. He held a pouch that looked as if it hadn't been washed in a while. He was scurrying around picking up peculiar leaves and rocks to add into his pouch.

"Boy," she said at last. "What are you doing?"

He stood up suddenly, as if zapped by electricity. He glared at Lily with dark eyes and she couldn't help noticing the shadows beneath them. "Nothing," he said sharply. "And why were you watching me?"

She blushed, looking down at her feet. "I'm sorry. I was just curious."

The boy's expression changed. He didn't glare, but merely stared at the girl, wondering why she would bother talking to him. He eventually shrugged and went bent back down, continuing to collect pieces of nature for his small bag.

Lily didn't want to walk away, now that she had finally worked up the nerves to speak to him. He was very intimidating, but she pressed on regardless.

"I've watched you before, you know."

He didn't look up at her but Lily could see the surprise on his face. Still he said nothing.

"You're different."

He looked up at her, a smirk across his pale face. "I know."

"Do you mind? Being different?" she asked, confused by his reaction.

He shook his head. "it means I'm not like him," he spat.

Lily didn't ask who he meant. She was young, but she had tact. "I mind it sometimes. My sister doesn't like it."

A small frown creased the boy's forehead. "How are you different?" he asked.

"I make stuff happen," she whispered. "When I'm scared. I don't know how I do it… it's almost like… magic."

Much to Lily's surprise, the boy laughed. Loudly.

"Why are you laughing at me?" she demanded.

He stood up, with a small smile on his face. "Because it_ is_ magic."

She was taken aback. "There's no such thing as magic!"

He rolled his eyes. "Oh there's not is there? Well I'll see you at Hogwarts, muggle-born."

And with that he strolled up the river bank and disappeared. Lily sat there for a while, thinking that this boy was perhaps even weirder than her.

_And what on earth was Hogwarts? _

[x

Lily walked trudged back to her home, her mind so focused on her conversation with the Snape boy that she tripped over several times - once over her own feet.

When she made it inside, relatively unharmed - just a few scratches from where she had fallen - Petunia eyed her suspiciously. "Where have you been?" she questioned.

"Oh, um," she stammered. Lying had never been a strong point. And she didn't think that was such a bad thing - sometimes. "Just down to the river."

Petunia and Lily may not have been getting on very well lately, but Petunia still knew her sister well enough to know when she was not telling the truth. "What happened there?"

Lily blushed for the second time today. "I was talking with the Snape boy," she said quietly.

Petunia sniffed. "And what did he have to say for himself?"

"He's different, like me."

Petunia screwed up her face. "Like how?" she practically screeched.

"Well I'm not exactly sure," Lily admitted. "He said something about magic…"

"Magic!" Petunia scoffed. "There is absolutely no such thing, Lily."

Lily hung her head. "That's what I thought."

Lily was disappointed. She had almost been hoping - silly of her really - but Petunia was older and knew so much more than her, and if Petunia said there was no such thing it must be true.

"What's that?!" Petunia suddenly yelled, pointing to the window.

Lily's head snapped up. "It's an owl!" she cried.

She made a move towards the window, only to be chastised by Petunia. "Don't go near it, it might bite you!"

Regardless, Lily knew by the way it was fluttering at the window, that the owl wanted to get in. it seemed to be carrying some sort of letter and her curiosity was overwhelming.

Once she had lifted the window, in a matter of seconds the owl had flown in, dropped the letter on the nearest table and zoomed back out again.

"See, Petunia," Lily said happily. "It didn't want to hurt us."

Petunia didn't reply, but instead gave an incoherent grunt to show her disapproval.

Lily picked up the letter and examined it. The address was written carefully in green ink; "It's for me!" she cried, flipping it over. On the back of the envelope was a strange emblem with what appeared to be a badger, a snake, an eagle and a lion. Also printed was the word - Hogwarts.

Her fingers were now trembling as she opened the letter and removed the parchment from inside.

After a few moments Petunia's nosiness got the better of her and she said stiffly, "well, what does it say?"

Lily looked up from the letter, ginning. "There _is_ such a thing as magic."

[x

She knew she would find him there the next day. He was again collecting random insignificant things for his little pouch. He looked up as soon as she arrived and she briefly wondered if he had expected she would come.

"So you got your letter?" he said before she could say anything.

"Yes," she replied and went and sat down on the cool earth beside him.

He looked startled by her closeness but didn't move away.

"Tell me," she whispered. "Tell me what it's like."

He surveyed her with those dark eyes, looking slightly intrigued. "Well what would you like to know?"

"Everything." she said simply, playing with a strand of her red hair.

He considered this for a moment and then seemed to relax beside her. "Well there are four houses. You will get sorted into one of the four according to your personality traits."

Lily sat in awe. He sounded so intelligent for someone who was only her age. "What are the four houses?" she asked.

"Ravenclaw for the wise and intelligent, Hufflepuff for the loyal and hardworking, Gryffindor," Lily noted a slight malice in his voice at the mention of the third house. "for the brave and Slytherin, for the ambitious."

This made sense to Lily. "What house do you think you'll be in?"

"Slytherin," he said, his voice emanating confidence.

"Oh." she breathed. They all sounded pretty good to her.

He eyed her thoughtfully. "You look like a Gryffindor."

"Do you think I'm brave?" she asked shyly.

"Well you talked to me. Not many people dare to do that," he laughed, but Lily detected some hurt behind his laughter.

"Severus?" she ventured.

"Yes, Lily?" he replied.

It was a sign of just how much they paid attention to each other, they knew each others name without introducing themselves.

"Are we friends?" She had to ask, because she wasn't sure.

His brow furrowed. He'd never had a friend before. But he thought that seeing as though this girl was going to Hogwarts, it couldn't do any harm.

"I guess so." he gave her a lopsided smile.

She beamed. "I hope I'm in Slytherin, so I'll have someone to talk to at Hogwarts."

He didn't know why, but this gave him a bad feeling. "Even if you're not, you'll make friends easily."

Her eyes were wide. "I don't make friends easily."

"Yes, but you've only ever been around muggles," he waved his hand dismissively.

"You seem to not like …muggles." she noted. She was smart enough to figure what he meant when he used that term, without having to ask.

It was true. But he didn't feel like telling her that. "It doesn't matter."

"why do you collect those things?' she pointed at his soiled pouch.

"I use them in potions. My mum gave me her old potions book, so I've been practicing." He explained.

Throughout the afternoon Severus further described Hogwarts and its many possibilities. By the end of it, Lily was positively ecstatic about becoming a witch.

This was not the only thing she was excited about. Lily Evans had made her first true friend.

[x

Today was the day, the first time she would travel to Hogwarts via platform 9 and ¾ and definitely not the last. She was lucky she had Severus, or she would never have found the train in time.

Her parents waved her farewell, their support obvious, while Petunia stubbornly ignored her younger sister. Lily knew she should have been upset about this but her excitement overpowered that emotion - She was finally going to the place she had been dreaming about for the last month!

She felt comfortable on the train. Everywhere she looked she saw people like her. It was exhilarating.

Snape had brought a book. He opened it and began reading as soon as the train started to progress along the country side, gradually gaining speed. He looked so engrossed Lily had to bite her tongue from asking the billion questions that were whirling around her brain. She instead stared out the window, completely in awe of the country side, green hills and blue sky. It was truly magical. She smiled at her pun.

She was so lost in thought she didn't notice when their cabin door slid open until a tall boy with a mess of black hair and glasses spoke to them.

"Hullo, I'm James Potter."

It appeared Severus hadn't heard the intruders enter either, far too engrossed in his book. He jumped slightly and looked up, his dark eyes flashing. "Severus Snape." he said shortly.

The messy-haired boy apparently called James looked at Snape's odd clothes and long hair with obvious distaste. He was accompanied by another boy who was rather handsome and had a wicked glint in his deep brown eyes.

"He wasn't talking to you mate," the second boy said. Lily thought he should apologize for his rudeness but all he did was turn to her and grin. "Sirius Black."

"Lily Evans," she said stiffly, turning her gaze back out the window to show her disinterest.

James looked about to say something more when Sirius cut him off. "Come on, James. I met this kid, a few cabins down. He offered me chocolate on the platform," he added.

Lily was thankful they were leaving.

James looked quite the opposite; struggling to argue in some way, giving up and shrugging his shoulders as he turned to leave. "Nice meeting you Lily."

When they were gone Severus looked unsettled.

"I didn't like them," Lily offered, half in truth, half trying to make her friend feel better.

He shrugged and tried to look as if the encounter hadn't bothered him.

Lily grinned. "Did you see that boy's hair? Apparently no one has ever showed him how to use a comb!"

And with this they began to giggle uncontrollably, the mood lightened. They spent the rest of the train ride joking and stuffing themselves with food from the trolley.

As they stepped off the train into the cool air Lily felt as though her legs were about to crumple beneath her. This was it. She was here. She made it. They were led to a vast, lake, so blue it was almost black. It twinkled on the surface, reflecting lights from the huge castle that loomed above them. She let out a gasp and grasped Severus's hand.

Her eyes sparkled. "It's beautiful!"

"Yes, it is quite magnificent." he replied.

Lily was silent for the boat ride. She was too much in awe of the giant castle to be able to think of any of the questions that had previously been on her mind.

Inside what the teacher had referred to as the Great Hall, the first years lined up restlessly, ready to be sorted into their according houses.

She was secretly happy her last name begun with E, as this meant the insufferable James Potter was halfway down the line from her. It also meant though, that she was close enough for Sirius Black to strike up a conversation with her.

"Lily, isn't it?" Sirius Black flashed a smile. Lily couldn't help notice that his teeth were perfectly straight and white.

"Yes," she said, looking around the room not particularly interested in furthering the conversation with the boy that had been so rude on the train.

"What house do you think you'll be in?" Apparently he didn't take a hint, Lily thought bitterly.

"I hope I'm in Slytherin." she said, finally turning to look at him.

"What?!" He barked. "What the hell would you want to be in there for?"

She frowned. "Because I have friends there," was her cold reply.

Suddenly comprehension dawned on his striking face. "You don't know much about Slytherin do you?"

Lily didn't answer. She wasn't about to tell him that he was right.

"Every bad wizard there ever was came from Slytherin," he continued.

"Are there bad wizards?" she asked, eyes wide.

Sirius chuckled. "Wizards are just like muggles. There are bad muggles aren't there?"

Her throat felt dry. She nodded.

He watched her carefully. "I'm going to have to keep an eye on you, kid." he said after a moment.

She was about to ask why when his name was called. He lumbered forward and placed the patched hat on top of his dark head. The hat sat there for quite sometime before it shouted -

"SLYTHERIN!"

Lily was confused. Hadn't this boy just expressed his disapproval in her wanting to be in Slytherin?

Sirius withdrew the hat, his face had visibly paled. It was clear that this was not what he had been expecting.

Soon it was her turn. She walked timidly up to the hat and slipped it over her copper hair. To her surprise, there was a small voice inside the hat, speaking to her.

"So you want to be in Slytherin ay?"

'Yes, please' Lily thought as hard as she could.

"Ah, but you have a great mind, you could do wonderful things in Ravenclaw… so be it… However just know that you wouldn't be there if you didn't have someone to look out for you. Make sure you watch yourself in …. SLYTHERIN!"

She yanked the hat off her head, relieved. She looked down at the line of remaining first years so she could see Severus's reaction. She hadn't expected him to look lightly anxious at this outcome. She couldn't help noticing James Potter's crestfallen face as she placed the hate back down on the stool.

She went and took a seat beside the boy of Black at the Slytherin table. He looked so furious she didn't dare ask him why he thought he had been sorted into Slytherin if he hated it so much. He was noticeably disappointed again when a boy with tattered robes and dark circles under his eyes called Remus Lupin was sorted into Gryffindor, his obvious house of choice. She watched the Potter boy get sorted into Gryffindor, which just made Sirius even more livid. Then it was Snape's turn. Hat barely on his head for more than a second, it screamed, "SLYTHERIN!" just as he had said it would.


	2. Distance Between Friends

A/N: Thanks for your reviews, hope you enjoy this update!

**CHAPTER TWO: Distance Between Friends**

That night Lily lay in her four post bed in the dark dormitory, pondering the events of the night. There was a lot she didn't understand. Why was the boy called Sirius sorted into Slytherin, the one house he seemed to loathe? Why was she getting strange looks for being sorted into the very same house - a house she was happy to be in? And why - why - didn't Sev share her happiness?

She sighed and rolled over on her side. Tomorrow classes would begin and she was determined to focus very hard in each lesson to make sure she didn't miss a thing. This would mean forgetting about most of the things that were eating away at her - not really such a bad thing, she decided.

The next morning she ran down to the Great Hall. She was starving! Breakfast had always been her favourite meal. She searched the green and silver adorned table, not finding Severus she sat down next to Sirius Black who was heartily helping himself to second helpings of bacon and eggs.

"Evans," he nodded in acknowledgement.

"Good morning, Sirius." He seemed to be in a better mood this morning so she tried her chances with a few burning questions. "Are you enjoying your time at Hogwarts so far?"

He chewed aggressively on his bacon and replied darkly, "it could be better."

"Oh?" she feigned surprise. "How so?"

"Well I am sitting at this table for one," he gestured around him. "I thought I was going to be in Gryffindor. I think I had my hopes too high, all my family were in Slytherin…"

He was staring wistfully at the red and gold table. "And the few friends I managed to make on the train are sitting over there, right where I want to be." she guessed he was referring to James Potter and Remus Lupin. He glanced at her. "Except you of course."

She felt her cheeks warm. "Do you know why the hat placed you here?"

"Well…" he hesitated. "I didn't really understand it fully, to be honest. It said that putting me in Slytherin would help with something… and basically he said I was already too arrogant already to be put in a house that would further feed my confidence."

She didn't know whether to say it out loud or keep quiet, but either way Lily agreed with the last part.

"There's one thing I do know though," he said, a playful grin enhancing his already stunning features. "I am going to stay friends with Potter and Remus; I don't give a damn about house tradition."

This talk of friends made her wonder why Severus wasn't at breakfast. It wasn't until her first lesson, Potions, that she saw him, in which she immediately took a seat beside him and questioned his absence.

He didn't look up from the text book he had his eyes on. "I never eat breakfast."

She was puzzled. "Why?"

"Because no one has ever suggested that I do. Ok?" came his testy answer, still pouring over the school book, his dark hair in desperate need of a trim curtained his face.

"Fine," she grumbled. What was up with him?

The teacher gave them a brief introduction to the subject and then with a wave of his stubby wand instruction appeared on the board for their very first potion.

"You should be good at this," Lily commented, trying to make conversation. "Didn't you learn some from your mother and father?"

This got a reaction, but not one she had been hoping for. His dark eyes flashed and there was a low growl in his voice. "My father has never taught me anything, except to hate."

Lily's eyes were wide. He had scared her. He tired to backtrack, not wanting her to be afraid of him. "I borrowed one of her old textbooks," he offered, the growl in his voice had disappeared.

She breathed out. "Oh yes, I remember you telling me now."

They set to work on their potion. The simmering substance seemed to be under control, and going to plan. It wasn't until Lily added the frogs liver that it started to get out of hand.

Severus was carefully reading the instructions for what to do next and he didn't notice how the liquid was becoming dangerously close to bubbling over the edges of the cauldron.

"Sev," Lily began.

"In a minute," he said, still pouring over the textbook.

"No, Sev, I really think you should take a look. I think something's gone wrong." the note of panic in her voice made him look up.

Without time to react, he saw the boiling potion bubble over the edges, hissing violently as it dripped onto Lily's robes.

The teacher had noticed the commotion and had come over to see the trouble. Noticing it was out of control he screeched, "what is the last thing you put in the cauldron?"

"Um," Lily was frantic, the potion burning her skin. "frog liver!"

"Stupid girl," he snarled. "it was frog eyes not liver!"

With this information he managed to add in some counter ingredients to neutralise the potion.

"Are you ok?" Severus moved closer, his black eyes anxious. "Is it hurting?"

"Yes," she sobbed.

"I'm taking Lily to the hospital wing, sir," he said, springing out of his chair and grabbing Lily by the arm.

"Yes, of course, of course!" The professor boomed.

Once they were outside Severus began muttering to himself. Lily couldn't concentrate on much more than the searing pain on her left leg and arm.

"Sev, it hurts," she moaned.

He dragged her into an empty classroom. His breathing was shallow and sharp. "It's ok, stay calm. I know a charm that may help."

He took her hand, and touched the wound with his wand, muttering an incantation that sounded like a soft lullaby. Even if the magic didn't work, his voice made her feel extremely calm.

"I feel like an idiot." she said quietly.

He glanced up at her. "It's not your fault. I should have been paying more attention."

She shook her head. "WHO was the one who added frog liver?"

His smile was grim. "Yes, I can't take blame for that one. It's all yours."

Her face relaxed. "Thank you so much. It doesn't hurt anymore."

Severus realized he was still holding her hand. In a sharp, sudden move he pulled away from her. He cleared his throat. "We'd better be getting back to the dungeons to get our things for our next class."

She nodded meekly. "Let's hope I don't injure myself in transfiguration."

They laughed and headed out of the empty classroom.

[x

The moment they walked out of the classroom, Severus was once again being distant. Lily tried to make jokes with him and lighten the mood but the best he could do was give a half-hearted laugh and avoid looking in her eyes.

His cold manner continued for the next few days. She couldn't stand it anymore. She needed to confront him.

She decided to do it when they were walking to lunch, across the ground back from Herbology. The weather was nice. The birds chirped cheekily and a cool breeze tousled their hair.

"Sev? I need to ask you something."

"Hmm?" he sounded distracted.

"Why are you avoiding me?"

For the first time in days his eyes touched hers. They were apprehensive.

"I don't know what you mean," he said gruffly.

This hurt. Why couldn't he just be honest?

"Didn't you want me to be in Slytherin?" she pressed on. She was going to get to the bottom of this.

He shrugged. "I didn't expect it," he admitted.

"But you seem to really, really not like it."

They had stopped walking and we now standing facing each other.

"If you haven't noticed, you're a muggle-born." his gaze was cold.

"What's that got to do with anything?" she demanded.

"Muggle-borns don't belong in Slytherin!" his voice was harsh.

"Well the sorting hat didn't seem to have a problem with -"

"Well the sorting hat was wrong!" he exploded. "This is not the place for you Lily!"

She was stunned into silence. After a moment she said coldly, "If you didn't want to be my friend, you could've just said."

His mouth opened as if he were going to say something, but couldn't decided what so he closed it.

"Well, I'm glad we cleared that up." she said, her throat tight. She needed to get away from him before she could burst into tears. She turned and marched away her red hair blowing behind her.

[x

Sirius Black had kept his promise. Within weeks of beginning at Hogwarts, he, James Potter, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew were quickly becoming inseparable and gaining a reputation with some of the teachers.

They were also occasionally joined by Lily Evans.

This had first started a few weeks ago when Sirius had heard someone crying in an empty classroom on his way to the Great Hall for lunch. He thought about leaving whoever it was in peace - his mothers words ringing in his mind, _"Always wanting to be the hero, pathetic."_ - but his curiosity got the better of him and he opened the door.

He was startled to find the red-haired girl he ate breakfast with there. _"Evans?"_ his voice was filled with incredulity.

She looked up, surprised at the intrusion. "Go away," she sobbed.

"Fat chance." he said, sitting up on the desk beside her. "Now what's got you so worked up?"

She shuddered as she took a deep breath, a fresh wave of tears coming on. "It's - it's - oh, it's Severus!" she cried.

He bristled. "What did he do?"

"Nothing." her sobs were slowing down and she felt as if she was starting to get some air back into her lungs. "He just doesn't want to be my friend."

Sirius raised one eyebrow. "That's why you're crying?"

She wiped her tears with the sleeve of her robe and nodded.

"Er, these aren't tears of joy are they?"

She glared at him. "No."

"Right. Of course. Sorry." he backtracked. "Honestly Evans, why do you want that greasy git for a friend so badly? There are plenty of people you could be friends with."

She had to wonder. Why _did_ it hurt her so much that Severus didn't want to talk to her?

"I think it's because…" she began slowly. "I think its because he was my first ever friend. At my old school I was always the odd girl who made strange things happen. No one wanted to hang out with me. Than I met Severus at the river and I finally found someone who I could talk to without being called a freak."

Sirius took all this in. "Well, Lily, if you ever want someone to hang out with you can always come sit with me and James. We won't call you a freak, promise."

Lily glanced at him with vivid green eyes. "Really?"

He grinned. "Maybe only once or twice."

She giggled. As she did this, her stomach growled.

"Woah, you need to eat." he said, and jumped off the table, dragging Lily to the Great Hall.

Later that evening, James and Sirius were "studying" in the library. Really they just used it as an excuse to talk, since they couldn't go to each others common rooms.

"How's it going in Slytherin?" James asked in a mockingly solemn tone. "Have they asked you to join You-Know-Who yet?"

Sirius's smile was grim. "They'd have to do a lot more than just ask to get me to join."

James laughed. "I never thought I'd see the day when my best friend was in Slytherin… or the girl I liked." he added quietly.

Sirius looked up at him, his suspicions confirmed. "You only just met her you idiot."

"Yeah but…" he seemed dazed. "Say, why is she sitting with us now anyway?"

Sirius wasn't sure whether he should tell the full story or not. "Well she was, er, upset so I offered her to come hang out with us." he explained pitifully.

"Why was she upset?" James said anxiously.

He shook his head. "Just that slimy Snape git."

"What?!" James roared.

"Oi, keep it down will you." Sirius said quickly, checking the librarian wasn't going to come screeching at them.

"Sorry," he said in a lower, husky voice. "How did he upset her?"

"He said he didn't want to be her friend."

"Oh." James looked almost relieved. "Well… I can handle that."

"Mate," said Sirius grinning. "You have issues."


	3. Secrets and Spells

**Author's Note: I'd like to thank you for your reviews of the last chapter. Here chapter 3, a little shorter than the other two, but I hope you like it anyway! As always, I'd love to hear what you think (: **

**CHAPTER THREE **_Secrets and Spells _

_Dear Petunia _

_I hope you get this. I know you're afraid of birds - but this owl doesn't bite, I promise. It's one of the school owls and I picked it out because it was especially nice looking, because I didn't want frighten you. _

_Are you still mad at me? I'm so sorry Tuney, I didn't want to come without you. It isn't even that great anyway - Severus has stopped talking to me and I keep making a fool of myself in classes. I can't wait till I can come home next… _

_Give mum and dad my love, _

_Lily _

Lily patted the snowy white owl. It gave an affectionate hoot, and took off, wings spread, soaring into the breaking dawn. She hadn't woken up before sunrise and hadn't been able to get back to sleep. She was feeling desperately homesick so she decided to make her way down to the owlery, quill and parchment in hand.

She sighed, gazing into the sunrise, the owl becoming nothing more than a speck. She suppose she could go down to breakfast, but she didn't particularly fancy having to endure Severus glare at her across the tables while James Potter constantly asked her questions. It was tiresome.

It had been over two months since she had first began at Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. She was slowly starting to get the hang of her lessons, particularly potions as she was determined to get a good grade, after such a disastrous beginning to the subject. Professor Slughorn had even taken a liking to her lately. "Oh you're coming along there young Evans!" he had boomed at her last lesson. "Keep at it!"

She quickly found that Charms was her best subject by far. She had been the first one to make her feather soar across the room, a feat which she was extremely proud of.

If only she found her friendships as easy as she did Charms. Severus hadn't spoken a word to her since their argument, but that didn't mean she could easily ignore him in return. Especially not when he kept glaring at her at every opportune moment, a small crease in his forehead as if she were a particularly frustrating puzzle he was trying to work out.

And then there was James Potter…

"Lily?" a voice from behind her interrupted her musings.

She turned around to see the quiet boy called Remus Lupin that sat with her, Sirius and James. He had a slightly unhealthy look about him, as if he didn't get enough sleep by far, his eyes had deep circles beneath them, standing out against his pale skin.

"Oh, hello Remus." she smiled politely. "What are you doing here so early?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing." he walked timidly over to a tawny owl and attached a scroll of parchment to it.

"I couldn't sleep."

He looked at her, a slight frown on his face. "Are you ok?"

She smiled. "Yes, I'm fine."

He still wore the frown. "Are you sure? You just don't seem excited to be here."

Dang. she thought she had been fooling everyone. "I guess I'm just a little homesick." she figured half the truth was enough. "Who're you posting a letter to?"

"My dad," Remus answered. "I myself am a little….homesick."

She narrowed her eyes. Something about the way he had said the words made her wonder… "You're not leaving are you?"

He looked around at her. "I think so yes."

"You can't!"

He chuckled. "Why not?"

Lily found it very easy to get along with this boy, she didn't want him to leave. "Because - well you just can't. I mean, if I'm staying, you have to stay too."

He smiled shyly. "I'll think about it."

"What makes you think they would let you, anyway?" she asked.

He grimaced. "I'm sick. They would understand."

"Sick?" her voice was anxious.

"Yes," he said softly, stroking an owl that was close by. "Though I don't think you'd believe me if I told you."

"There's not much I wouldn't believe anymore." she said, almost more to herself than anyone else.

"Well… do you believe in… werewolves?"

"THERE YOU ARE!"

Remus and Lily both gave a slight jump and turned around to see James and Sirius striding into the owlery.

"We were wondering were you two had gotten too," Sirius said.

"Breakfast is almost over, you know." James added.

"Is it?" Lily said distantly. She was still thinking about Remus's answer - _werewolves?_

Remus cleared his throat. "Well we'd better be heading down there, don't you think Lily?"

He looked into her eyes. They were pleading her to agree, begging her not to mention their conversation.

She nodded. "Yes, good idea. I'm starving."

James laughed. "You're always hungry."

"That's rich, coming from you!" she retorted.

"Now, now children, play nice. Let's get out of here, it smells awful." Sirius said, heading for the door.

The walked down to the Great Hall, James and Sirius at a much faster pace, Remus and Lily tagging behind. The first thing she saw when she walked through the huge wooden doors was the flash of Severus's dark eyes, his gaze intense across the hall. He was sitting with his new friends, an unpleasant bunch of people. For the first time, Lily noticed a girl sitting with them.

Taking a seat next to Sirius at the Gryffindor table, Lily said quietly to him. "Who is that girl over there with Snape and Avery?"

Sirius glanced fleetingly up at the group. "Oh. My cousin. Bellatrix."

Lily studied the girl. She had long dark hair to suit her long face, her eyes heavy lidded, her smile no more than a sneer. She had the look of a vain person, with the way she held herself, almost a wicked elegance to her nature.

"I'm not surprised she's getting involved with Snape and his lot," Sirius said bitterly.

Lily noticed Severus was still watching her every move and she forced herself to look away. "Why?"

"He's up to his eyes in dark arts, your old friend Snape. Bet you anything he's planning to be a Death Eater." Sirius was stabbing a piece of bacon onto his fork.

"Death Eater," James said, butting in on the conversation. "Yum."

Sirius laughed. Lily smiled despite herself. "Is your cousin interested in the Dark Arts?"

"Interested is an understatement. Then again, she is a Black so what can you expect?"

"She's coming over here." Lily noted, a slight edge to her voice. She would hate to admit it, but this girl was extremely intimidating.

"Hello there dear cousin," Bellatrix's voice was high pitched. It sent shivers down Lily's spine.

"Bella," Sirius nodded.

She looked around at her cousin's company disapprovingly. "You're lucky you know."

"How so?" Sirius kept eating his eggs, as if this were one of his everyday conversations. Remus, Lily and James on the other hand were tense, not wanting the girl named Bellatrix to turn her attention to them.

"You got sorted into Slytherin." she said, as if there could be no other reason as to why he were lucky.

"Oh. I thought it was rather unlucky, myself."

She sneered. "Don't blow it, cousin dear. The family might not take so well to you sharing company with …_filth_."

Lily shrunk in her seat. She was aware Bellatrix's eyes were focusing on her as she had said the word 'filth'.

Sirius stood up, looking taller than Lily had ever seen him. "Now, Bella. We were just here enjoying a nice breakfast until you came along. So why don't you rack off?"

She gave a high pitched laugh. "See you at Christmas, dear cousin!"

"Thank god she's gone." Sirius said, sitting heavily in his seat. Adding quickly, "Sorry about that."

"Hey," James said lightly. "You can't choose your relations."

Remus nodded. "I have a particularly annoying Aunt I wish I wasn't related to."

Lily smiled around her three friends, touched by their support of each other. This moment was interrupted by the arrival of the morning post. Two owls flocked down to where they were sitting, one for James, the other for Sirius.

"Brilliant!" said James. "My mum sent me some homemade biscuits."

"May I have one?" Remus asked.

"Of course!" James replied heartily, shoving the package in front of Lupin.

As there were marveling over the quality of Mrs. Potter's biscuits, Sirius all of a sudden lost his appetite, pushing his plate away from him with a disgusted look on his elegant face.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked.

"It's from my mother." he scrunched the letter up in his fist.

"What does it say?" Remus asked gently.

"She said - she said - she's proud of me!" he struggled to get the words out.

James laughed. "Sorry mate, but only you would ever be upset about something like that."

Lupin had a little more tact. "Because you're in Slytherin?" he asked.

Sirius nodded. "Out of all the damn houses I could get sorted into…"

"It's not like we spend much time there anyway." Lily said, her gaze once again reverted to the silver and green table.

Her eyes met his.

The green eyes stared at him from across the tables. Why did she keep looking at him? He wondered. It made it hard to concentrate on what Avery, Rosier and Wilkes were talking about.

"So how many curses do you know?" Wilkes was asking eagerly, his light blue eyes shinning with anticipation.

"Oh, I know about ten good ones I'd like to use on a muggle or two," Rosier said with a cold laugh.

_If any of them ever so much as touches Lily…. _

"What about you, Snape?" Wilkes asked.

"Probably curses you've never heard of." he replied with a tight lipped smile. It wasn't necessarily true, but he bet he could perform better magic that those three any day.

All three laughed.


	4. Grudges and Goodbyes

**Chapter Four:** _Giving Up_

Lily and Remus sat at a wooden desk, as far as they could get from James and Sirius, who had no real intentions of studying. Lily was determined to get her grades higher, and she found herself spending a lot of time with Remus, who was the studious type.

She hadn't yet worked up the nerve to ask him about their conversation in the owlery and he showed no signs of wanting to bring it up again. She had done a little bit of research on the matter and thought she had some idea what he meant. She wouldn't believe him until she told him straight.

She watched him carefully out of the corner of her eye, his light brown hair falling gently on his pale face as he studied the page in front of him. She thought now might be a good time to say something, with James and Sirius fooling around at the other end of the library and no one else around.

She stood up abruptly, returning with a thick volume titled: A Full Moon - Analysis of the Werewolf, putting it rather heavily on the table in front of her.

He looked up, startled. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, just doing some extra research," she said airily, making sure he would be able to see the cover of the book.

"On werewolves?" he said, a small frown appearing on his face.

"Yes."

"Why?"

She looked up on him. "Because of our conversation of course. You asked me what I know about werewolves - don't you remember?"

"I remember." he said shortly, turning his face once again to the transfiguration text on the table in front of him.

Dang. She wasn't getting anywhere.

"So, what do you know about werewolves?" she casually threw his question back at him.

He bit his lip, as if trying not to smile. "A fair bit."

"Why do you know so much, I wonder?" she hoped she wasn't pushing it too far.

"Lily," he said anxiously, finally looking up at her. "Please don't tell anyone."

"Tell anyone what?" She whispered.

"You've figured it out. I know you have."

"You don't mean -?!"

"Shhh!" he said, his eyes widening.

"Oh, Remus, I didn't actually BELIEVE it!" she was shocked at the accuracy of her own theory.

He scratched his head thoughtfully. "Dumbledore didn't expect anyone to work it out, especially not in the first grade. You're a very smart girl."

She blushed. She wished it were true.

"So that's why you go home once every month…" she said, the pieces coming together more clearly.

He nodded, his face strained as if he were remembering something particularly painful.

"What's it like? Being a werewolf?"

There was so much about her new world that Lily had no idea about. When would it stop surprising her?

"Horrible." he said quietly. "I don't like it one bit."

His voice sounded terribly fragile. Lily felt tears prickle behind her eyes.

"I won't tell anyone." she promised, giving him a friendly smile.

He smiled too. "Thank you." she heard the sincerity in his voice.

"I'm sure Sirius and James wouldn't tell anyone either," she added.

The frown returned to his face. "No, I'd rather not tell them."

She sighed. "You know, you should frown less. It doesn't suit you."

He raised his eyebrows, giving her a lopsided smile. "Better?"

She titled her head to the side, as if concentrating very hard on his face. "A little."

They both burst out laughing.

"Oi!" Sirius called across the tables. "Keep it down! Some of us are trying to study around here."

"I can't think of who that might be," Lily replied sardonically.

"Us, of course." James said, as if that was the obvious answer.

Sirius grinned at him and said so only James could hear, "I know what _you're _studying."

James kicked him under the table. "Shut up, Slytherin."

Severus woke, gasping for air. He lay there for a moment, the darkness almost suffocating, as the old feeling of reality lapsed over him and he realized it was only a dream.

Not a dream, he thought bitterly. Dream was too nice of a word to use. It was a nightmare.

He hadn't had any nightmares for a few months now. He tried to think back to when they had stopped… oh. Around the time he had become friends with Lily Evans. He shook his head. He needed to stop thinking about her.

So why had they returned? The dark room appeared vividly in his mind, as though he could still be asleep dreaming of it. But he did know this place in real life. It was his home.

He rolled over, wondering what time it was. The idea of going back to sleep didn't appeal to him. He lay there with his thoughts for a few moments, mentally tuning out the snores coming from Avery's bed. As usual, Lily came to mind unwillingly.

He hadn't meant to hurt her. He had stopped talking to her for her own good, really. He cursed the sorting hat for ever thinking she belonged in Slytherin.

Of course it wasn't only for her good. He didn't like the idea of Avery and Wilkes thinking he was involved with muggle-borns. He knew their opinions on the matter. In fact, they were his opinions too. So why couldn't he get her out of his head…

He heard someone stir in the bed next to him. Avery sat up, stretching emphatically. "Another day, eh Snape?" he said as he noticed he was awake.

"Indeed," Severus replied, sitting up himself.

"We'd better wake Wilkes up and get down to breakfast. Bella has some plan," he winked.

They dressed quickly and made their way down to the Great Hall. Half way there they were stopped by Bellatrix, Severus noted a wicked gleam in her eyes.

"So what's this plan of yours?" Wilkes asked eagerly.

"Well," her voice was low and harsh. "Just a general ambush. No teachers looking, you know? I thought that the red head might be an easy target." her laugh was cold.

Severus' stomach churned. _No, not her, anyone but her…_

"I have someone else in mind," he said suddenly.

All three looked at him, surprised. "Who?" Bella asked indignantly.

He probably should've thought of someone before he opened his mouth. His eye searched the corridor full of students, his eyes skimming past Lily who was walking alone, and landed on a chubby Hufflepuff boy.

"Peter." he said quickly. "Peter Pettigrew."

His three friends looked confused. "Who?"

He pointed to the boy with colourless hair that was waddling down the corridor in the same direction as Lily.

"Ah," Bella hissed appreciatively.

"Pathetic," Avery agreed, his eyes narrowing.

Relief washed over Severus.

They soon caught up to him, two walking on each of his sides in an extremely intimidating manner.

"Hi there loser," Wilkes said, his pale blue eyes were malicious.

Peter glanced around at them nervously and quickened up his pace.

"Not so fast," Bella hissed. "We were just getting started with our lovely chat."

Avery stepped one foot out in front of the boy, and Peter went sprawling across the floor, his hands over his head to protect himself.

Wilkes laughed. He sounded like a crazy man.

"Now what shall we do to him boys?" Bella said, tilting her head at the figure curled up before them.

"Leave him alone!"

Severus' stomach writhed. _No, don't get involved… _

Bella's lip curled. "Ah. It's the mud blood."

"You can call me whatever you want," she said, her voice wavering with fury. "Just leave that boy alone."

"Oh is that so?" Bella said, advancing on Lily, kicking Peter as she went past him. "That's ok, I had plans for you anyway."

Severus' heart pounded. He needed a diversion…he needed something…

"Wait a minute."

Severus' head snapped to see who had interrupted this sickening course of events. It was the Black boy, wand held out in front of him.

Bella's also turned to look at him. "Oh hello there cousin." she said casually. "I was just playing a little game with your friend here."

He walked closer to her, closing the gap between herself and Lily. "Hmm, that's nice. But I know your idea of a game, Bella, and it's not happening here."

She sneered. "What makes you think you can stop me?"

Wilkes and Avery moved in closer, wands at the ready, just as James Potter appeared behind Sirius saying loudly, "He's not alone!"

Severus couldn't help but watch Lily as all this was going on. She stood very still, looking more frightened then he had ever seen her. The Peter boy had scrambled up from the floor and was standing behind her, watching fearfully. He watched her turn around, pat him on the shoulder and murmur a few words of reassurance. For a moment Severus felt insanely jealous. He forced himself to look away.

"WHAT is going on here?" said a stern voice.

It was a professor, one that Severus had never seen before. Enemies and friends alike shoved their wands quickly back into their robes and tried to look innocent.

"Nothing, Professor," James Potter said.

She eyed them suspiciously. "I should think so. Especially considering most of you are from the same house," she looked pointedly at Sirius and Bella. "Ten points from each of your houses, off you go."

They all groaned.

Lily watched as Severus and his friends stalked away in a different direction. She saw Severus shoot an angry look at her. Why was he doing this?

Sirius and James went over to Lily. "Are you ok?"

She nodded. "I'm fine. Your cousin isn't very pleasant, Sirius." she added.

He grimaced as James said, "Oh she's a bag of laughs that one!"

They all burst out laughing, all traces of seriousness disappearing.

Peter spoke up in a squeaky voice, "So, er, can I sit with you guys?"

_Dear Lily _

_I told you that you wouldn't have fun at that nasty place. _

_The only reason I got your letter is because that bird dropped it outside the window and then flew away. Even thought I don't like birds… it was a nice looking bird, so thank you for that. _

_Lily smiled to herself. She knew how much it meant for her sister to say that. _

_Mum, dad and I are leaving for France on the 19th. They said to tell you that they're sorry they can't leave later so you could come too. I don't mind going to France, as long as no one tries to make me eat frog. _

_Love your sister, _

_Petunia _

_PS- I am glad you don't talk to that awful boy. _

Lily stared glumly at the parchment in her hands, mixed emotions whirling inside her. She missed her family terribly. She would have loved to spent Christmas with them.

On the other hand, the letter made her feel defensive. But why should it? Tuney was right, Severus was an awful boy. But still Lilly couldn't help feel protective of her ex-friend.

This made things particularly difficult now she was friends with James and Sirius. They openly hated Severus, and every time one of them said something degrading she felt like slapping them. Remus was good. He didn't judge people. Lily guessed it was because he had been judged terribly since he got bitten and knew how it felt. Their new companion, Peter was quiet, at least to Lily. The only thing she noticed about him was that he never had any opinions of his own and preferred to agree with those of Sirius and James. It was absurd.

She kept an eye on Snape and his friends. It consisted of Slytherin's from all years. Wilkes, Avery, Rosier and Severus himself were the First Years of the group. Dolohov and Bellatrix were from the third grade and the eldest of the lot of a teenage boy by the name of Lestrange and his blonde companion Malfoy. They were an unpleasant bunch, always talking in dulcet tones as if they had something to hide.

Every now and then she caught Severus' eye. A second later his black hair would curtain his face, hiding his black eyes. This made it hard for Lily to work out what he was thinking.

Lily hadn't had another encounter with Bellatrix before Christmas. She was thankful. She saw Bella glare in her direction, but she didn't dare do anything with James and Sirius beside her. Lily sometimes wondered if they'd be more afraid of Remus if they knew he was a werewolf. This idea made her giggle. He was so kind, it was hard to imagine him being intimidating.

She walked down the dark hall, away from the Slytherin common room. She never spent much time there - mostly because it would be foolish and dangerous to - and spent much of her time in the library with Remus or having snow fights with James and Sirius. She didn't know what she was going to do - all three of her best friends were going home for Christmas.

That's where she was headed now as she walked along the gradually emptying halls, to say goodbye.

"I don't want to," Sirius said gruffly. "I don't want to have to listen to mum go one about the company I choose to keep. It's bad enough that I got sorted into Slytherin," he grumbled.

"Next Christmas, you're coming to my place to stay." James said firmly.

His face brightened. "Your parents wouldn't mind?"

"'Course not! They'd love to meet my friends." James replied.

Sirius cheered up considerably after this.

"Can't you stay?' Lily said anxiously to Remus.

He shook his head. "It's best I don't. I need a bit of a rest anyway."

She looked carefully at his appearance and decided he did indeed need a rest. His face was more pale than ever and his eyes were bloodshot, purple smudged beneath them. She felt a pang of sadness for her close friend.

She nodded. "Yes, well I will see you straight after Christmas," she said, more for her benefit than his.

He smiled weakly. "Certainly."

She was overwhelmed with the urge to hug him.

"Thank you," he said, patting her on the back awkwardly, unsure if she was going to let go.

"Hey!" said James. "Where's my hug?"

"Well I'll give you hug if you like, James…" Sirius grinned.

Lily laughed, tears in her eyes. She gave James a hesitant hug, releasing him quicker than she had Remus. "I know it's silly to be sad!" she said, trying to keep the tears in her eyes, instead of cascading down her cheeks.

"Nah, it's not." Sirius said. "I'd be sad if I left me too."

She laughed again. "I won't miss your arrogance," she said teasingly.

Before long, the train was speeding down towards the green mountains and Lily was left standing alone on the platform. Where to now?

She considered going up to the library to get started on the charms essay that was due after the holidays, but decided against it. She had worked hard enough to get her grades higher and now lessons were coming easily to her. She didn't need to reward herself with more study.

Snow was falling softly on her hair, but she didn't mind. She had never been overly sensitive to the cold, her long black cloak and green and silver scarf keeping her warm enough. She was just making her way back up to the castle - not sure where exactly - she heard a whoosh and a tawny owl landed on a branch above her, dropping a letter that she caught just in time before it hit the soggy ground.

Strange, she thought to herself. What could Petunia need to say that she had forgotten to put in her letter before? She careful unrolled the letter, frowning at the cramped scrawl on the page that was so unlike Petunia's loopy handwriting. Her eyes skimmed the bottom to see if there was a signature, but there was none. She began to read.

_Lily, _

_I am terribly sorry for the way I have acted since coming to Hogwarts. I have been out of line. I beg you to forgive me. I miss our friendship. _

_S. _

She held the letter, her fingers numb but not from the cold. She looked up at the owl as it flew away, not really seeing it. So this is how it was, was it? He could stop talking to her whenever he wanted, but as soon as he said they could be friends again, she was supposed to come back running? She didn't think so.

She heard a soft crunch from behind her and swiveled round. "You!"

Severus stood there, taller than her, but looking extremely nervous. "Lily - I -"

"I don't want to hear it," she snapped and began to talk in the opposite direction.

He stumbled after her. "Wait! Let me explain!"

She turned around so suddenly he nearly ran into her. She stuck out her finger threateningly. "I think you explained yourself well enough a few months ago. I don't need to hear it again."

"This is not the same!"

She hesitated. "Why should it be different?"

"I…made a mistake." he swallowed. "It was stupid."

She frowned. "That's your excuse? You made a mistake?"

He didn't say anything.

"Well, that's not good enough Severus Snape! Don't talk to me again!"

And with that she rushing up to the castle, careful not to slip in the wet snow, leaving Severus standing there, his nose going pink from the cold and his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish.

Girls, he thought bitterly.

Severus Snape was sitting alone in the library, fuming. He didn't understand what he had done wrong. Why had she stormed off like that? Completely over-reacted. Now she would probably go tell that hot-head Black and his stooge Potter and he'd have to endure their empty threats.

If only she knew. If only she knew how many times he had stopped Bella turning on Lily, hurting her in ways she couldn't even imagine. He risked looking like a mud blood lover - to save her skin. Ungrateful.

After a few moments he began to calm down, the rage subsiding and his breathing going back to a normal pace. Disappointment set in. he wanted so much to be her friend.

If she would only listen! If she would actually listen to him he might be able to convince her to forgive him.

_But why would she forgive you?_ A nasty voice inside his head spoke up. He shook his head furiously. stop it, he told himself. The voice laughed, sounding exactly like his father. He was tempted to bang his head against the wooden table.

Well. Maybe it was for the best. He had stopped talking to her in order to protect her, so maybe it was …fate, whatever it was called, that she still didn't want to associate with him.

This idea didn't quench his bitter disappointment.

The holidays passed slowly. Lily spent a lot of her time in the library, or taking long walks on the snow covered grounds. Mostly she spent it avoiding Severus, who seemed to be doing the same thing. She kept his letter. She didn't know why. In her fury she had thrown it into a paper bin in the corner of the common room. After having fallen asleep in an armchair she had woken to the sound of a well-meaning house elf emptying it and yelled, "NO!" in horror. The elf jumped a foot off the ground and dispparated with a crack. She ran to the bin and recovered her letter, feeling slightly bad for giving the house elf such a shock.

She read it many times. She read each word carefully, obsessively, trying to grasp for deeper meaning. The only thing she could get from it each tome was her own feelings bounced off the page back off her. She missed their friendship too… she had never wanted it to stop…

But perhaps it was pride. Perhaps it was fear. She didn't approach him with an apology of any sort. She kept her distance and he kept his.

Until, that was, Remus convinced her she should do otherwise.

Christmas holidays had ended. Sirius had returned in a particularly bad mood, and even James seemed a little subdued, Lily guessing it was because he missed his family. Of course that was not Sirius's reason.

"Mum spent the whole time lecturing me on who I should spend time with. Told her to sod off, and let's just say I should have done that." he scowled at the memory.

"Were you in trouble because of me?" Lily ventured.

He smiled at her. "No. It's not because of you. It's because of your blood."

This didn't reassure her much.

Remus, on the other hand, had come back to school looking refreshed and happier than Lily had seen him last term. His face had some colour in it and his smile was no longer weak - when he saw Lily he positively grinned.

Glad to have her library partner back, she listened to him describe his holidays. "Yes, dad was pleased. I think he's proud of me, for coming to school and doing so well when I have that little, ah, disadvantage, he says Dumbledore's a good man for giving me a chance. By the way did you get that charms essay finished?"

She gasped. "I completely forgot!"

"Well, that's not like you." he commented. "What could've happened to make it slip your mind?"

She bit her lip. Should she tell him? She had spent so much time obsessing over the letter that she had completely forgotten about the charms essay. Her fury with Severus was rekindled - if it wasn't for him she would never have been so careless!

"Well, I was a little preoccupied from a letter I received." she admitted.

"Oh?" Remus said curiously.

"Yes… it was from Severus." she replied.

"Ah," he said, suddenly comprehending. She had told him about her friendship with Severus before.

"He apologised." her voice was quiet.

"What did you say?" Remus asked kindly.

"I told him to never talk to me again," she looked up at Remus, her green eyes filled with worry. "Do you think I did the right thing?"

Remus thought about his answer carefully. He had loyalties to James and Sirius, but he couldn't lie to Lily. He just couldn't. "I think that's your answer," he looked at her meaningfully.

Her eyes widened.

"You wouldn't be asking yourself if you had done the right thing, if it were so." he continued.

"How do I fix this?" she groaned.

He smiled. "That part is up to you."

First potions lesson of the term, Lily simply couldn't pay attention. Every two seconds Slughorn was bellowing, "No, no, Evans! That doesn't go in till last! Where is you head today?"

Her head? Her head was off somewhere trying decided the best way to approach Severus. She watched him all lesson, from the moment he put his bag down on the floor, till the moment he had finished brewing the perfect potion.

He didn't look over at her until the end of the lesson when everyone had cleared up their equipment and was putting their books in their bags, slowly heading out the door to go to their next lesson. She seized the opportunity and waved him over.

A look of astonishment crossed his face. He looked behind him and then back at her, pointing to his chest and mouthing _"me?"_

She almost laughed out loud. She nodded at him.

He walked over to her, looking rather apprehensive. Once he had reached her, she took a deep breath. "I'm sorry!" she spluttered.

"Er, what?" Hadn't she told him never to speak to her again?

"I'm sorry," she said again. "I over reacted and I shouldn't have. I accept your apology."

He stood there awkwardly for a few moments, not knowing what to say. "…That's good." he felt his lips turn upwards, the first genuine smile to cross his face in months.

"Really?" she asked nervously. "Because I understand if you don't want to talk to me. I mean, you have your friends and I have mine…"

"Ah." yes, this did pose a problem. "Well I can tell you now that I definitely won't be hurrying over to the Gryffindor table to see with those dunderheads."

She couldn't help giggling. "And I don't fancy the idea of sharing breakfast with Bellatrix. She really is horrible, Sev."

He smirked. "I know."

"Then why do you hang out with her?!"

His smile faded. "She knows some… interesting…magic."

Lily didn't know what he meant by that, but she didn't have time to enquire. Professor Slughorn had noticed them lingering and was shouting at them to get to class. They rushed from the room, glancing at each other with mischievous smiles, best friends again at last.


	5. These Days Belong To Us

**Chapter Five **_These Days Belong To Us_

Lily made her way down to the Great Hall for breakfast, rehearsing in her head what she would say to Sirius and James. And, oh, Remus… what would she say to Remus? A huge gust of icy wind blasted her from one of the open windows and she wrapped her green and silver scarf tighter around her neck. Why couldn't they just all get along? She thought angrily.

Though, and not even that deep down, she knew why. They were ever so different. Sirius and James had a strong dislike for the Dark Arts and Severus seemed in every way attracted to them. Lily, herself, had no opinion yet. She was interested as to why they were so fascinating to her best friend, but weary because she trusted Sirius's judgement on most matters. She didn't know much about Dark Arts to be honest. She was too preoccupied with her delegated school work to be delving into other studies.

As she stepped into the hall she made a beeline for Severus, who's head was buried in a book, no food on the white plate in front of him. She sat down beside him, sweeping her red hair behind her shoulders and began immediately buttering her toast.

"You should eat something, you're too thin," she said, almost in a motherly manner.

Severus looked up her with dark eyes, a smile playing on his lips. "Good morning Lily."

"Good morning," she replied with a mouthful of toast.

"Ah,' he said softly.

She swallowed the food in her mouth. "What?"

He didn't say anything, but merely raised a finger towards the boy walking towards them looking surly.

"Oh no," she whispered.

"I didn't think they would take it lightly." he still looked greatly amused by the situation. "He's the spokesperson, being the snake among lions."

Sirius reached the table. Despite his lack of scarf he didn't look bothered by the cold weather. He refused to wear anything that had the Slytherin colours, even a tie. This got him quite a reputation among the staff who just saw it as general disobedience. Lily and his friends, of course, knew better.

"Evans," he said, looking down at her with a quizzical expression. "Why are you sitting over here today?"

"Oh," she said, getting flustered. "Oh…"

"I," said a cold voice from nearby, "was wondering the same thing."

All three turned to look at Bellatrix, her dark eyes glittering. Her presence had an effect on Severus. Though that of which no one could tell. No longer amused, his face became impassive, unreadable.

Lily bristled. "I was _sorted_ into this house -"

"Face it, mud blood." Bella said in a dangerous voice, lowering her face close to the girl, the green a deep contrast against the empty black. "You don't belong here."

There was a slam of a fist on the table as Severus stood up. He stared directly at Bellatrix. "Enough."

The three others looked at him in surprise. Lily's face was thankful, while Sirius looked at his enemy with incredulity. Bella's eyes narrowed and then suddenly - she laughed.

"Pathetic," she sneered. "She's just a -"

Snape cut her off. "She's a witch, like you. In fact, I'd say she's a much better one, and she's two grades below you. Jealous perhaps, Bella?"

This was another difference Lily noted between Severus and her other friends. Sirius and James liked to physically threaten their opponents - but Severus knew words could cause much more damage. With a quick ability to see straight through people, he was always smart enough to say the words that would hurt the most.

Lily was undecided as to which was worst.

Bella straightened up, moving away from Lily. It was plain it took great effort for her to smile carelessly, but she was determined. "So young, so infatuated. It would do you good to turn your focus away from," her eyes slid over Lily Evans. "…from temptation."

Severus was breathing hard. Bella gave them all one more charming smile before she waltzed back over to Avery and Wilkes.

Sirius was looking from Severus to Bella and back again. Finally he shook his head and once again addressed Lily. "Are you sure you don't want to come back over to the Gryffindor table?" he gestured towards the gold and red table and Lily noticed James, Remus and Peter looking on in interest.

"No." she said firmly. "Severus is my friend too. I hope you can understand that."

Sirius gazed at her for another moment and then finally shrugged. "I'll be just over there, Lil, if you need me."

She relaxed, and smiled up at him. Sirius gave her a stunning grin in return and he loped back over to his preferred environment.

"Such a hero," Severus spat.

Lily was startled. She appreciated Sirius's gesture more than she could ever say. Slowly she turned to Severus and grinned. "Oh no, I think you covered that."

Moments when Lily and Severus were apart were few and far between. They sat together at breakfast, lunch and dinner, worked together for every class and usually stayed up till midnight in the common room doing homework - mostly.

Anyone who had been paying attention to Severus would have noticed a considerable change in his manner. He had come to Hogwarts a surly, yet strange boy, but as his friendship with Lily Evans grew strong he was soon becoming more pleasant and good-humoured.

He had quite an influence over his peers. Lily was becoming more accepting within Slytherin, and if anyone had anything to say about her inferiority of birth, they were careful not to say it in front of Severus or the Gryffindor boys she accompanied when she wasn't with him. They were out of luck, as she was scarcely without either. Even Bella had relented her torments.

Her growing acceptance within the Slytherin house also made it more difficult to talk to Remus, James and Sirius. It would be hard to explain to her peers of similar house as to why she was spending so much time over at the Red and Gold table. Fitting in was a novelty, she didn't want to blow it.

Sirius and James were seeing less and less of Lily. She still made an effort to spend time with Remus, who she considered a dear friend, but it was harder with James and Sirius who so openly hated Snape. Remus didn't accost her about her friendship with the Snape boy, he was just happy to have her company. Sirius was growing increasingly worried about her spending so much time with Snape. Like a brother, he felt protective of her. However, James… well, James was jealous.

It was on their way to potions - first lesson Monday morning - that James spotted Lily from the top of the staircase and ran after her, finally catching up to her, out of breath. "James!" she said, surprised. "You look exhausted and we've only just had breakfast!"

"The stairs, you, I ran," he panted

Noting the blank look on her face, he waved his hand dismissively. "I wanted to talk to you. It seems like it's been ages since we last talked."

She looked forward as they walked towards the dungeons. "I've been busy with school work."

"You still manage to talk to Snape and Lupin." he said, a hint of bitterness in his voice.

"They are my best friends." her voice was reserved, her face impassive.

"so what are Sirius and I? Just people you say hi to in the hallway or something?" He didn't mean to sound harsh, but he was frustrated and frustration often brings out the worst in people.

She stopped dead, just short of where all the students were sauntering into the dungeon for one of their last potion lessons of their first year. "You know that's not true." she said in a low voice.

Severus had been waiting for her outside the classroom and was beginning to wonder why she was late. He looked around and saw her and the Potter boy talking in dulcet tones. His jealously bristled for a moment, but he stopped himself from interrupting, curious to figure out what the two were talking about. He stood there in silence.

"Do I?' James said heatedly. "It sure doesn't seem that way, Lily."

"Well it's not my fault!" she said, starting to raise her voice. "You're all to stubborn to get along with each other - what am I expected to do?"

"You don't have to talk to _him_," James said in a disgusted voice. 'Sirius agrees! He's no good for you Lily -"

"You don't even know him!" she near yelled.

"Keep your voice down, would you," he said warily. "We're just looking out for you Lily."

"I don't remember ever asking you to." she said, making an effort to be composed. "And as I said before, you shouldn't judge people if you don't know them. Besides, you're wrong."

James shrugged, far from pulling off indifferent. "If that's how you want it."

She glared at him, not bothering to respond. She stormed off towards the classroom, not even noticing Severus until he grabbed her arm as she stalked passed him.

"What was that about?" he muttered as they took their seats at the front of the room.

She shook her head, determined not to cry, as tears threatened to spill down her cheeks. "Nothing!" she said, close to hysteria. It was obviously not nothing.

He looked at her, calculating his next words. "Lily, we've talked about this before… if it's too difficult -"

Of course he didn't mean it. The last thing in the world he wanted was to be abandoned by Lily for those Gryffindor idiots. But he was clever enough to know that he had more of a chance of her not leaving if he didn't show just how selfishly he wanted her.

She smiled at him, a few tears escaping and sliding down her cheeks. "Sev, I don't care. You're my best friend. And if they can't handle that, that's their problem."

He smiled back, feeling very pleased with himself indeed.

For the rest of the lesson Lily was in a world of her own. While they were supposed to be taking notes on a simple headache remedy, she took out her quill and scribbled a letter that she didn't dare let anyone see.

As she walked over to the Slytherin table, that was situated on the farthest side of the Great Hall, she positioned herself behind Sirius, James, Remus and Peter. Her wand held inconspicuously at her side, she muttered a few words and Sirius's bag split, books going everywhere.

"Would you like some help?" she asked, bending down to help pick up his textbooks.

He grinned at her, his teeth flashing white. "Thanks Lil."

James merely glared at her from beside Sirius, not saying a word.

She handed him his Defence Against the Dark Arts text book, as she did she slipped the letter she had written into his hand. He looked at her, his expression puzzled but she shook her head subtley before he could say anything.

"Thanks again," he said holding her gaze as he stood back up.

"No problem," she said airily. She gave Remus a warm smile and continued on her way to the Slytherin table.

[x]

That night Lily told Severus she was tired and going to go to bed early.

"Are you alright? Are you sick? He glanced at her worriedly. She had been quiet all day, not at all like herself.

"I'm fine," she replied. "Just worn out. See you in the morning."

"Yes, in the morning." he said, and just as she had hoped he picked up his books and went up to his dormitory.

She had no intentions of going to bed. She had things to work out.

Along the halls she ran, careful not to be seen.

She closed the door quietly, locking herself inside the classroom she had first become friends with Sirius Black. She turned around to see the boy himself sitting on one of the tables, his features lit up only by candlelight.

She exhaled. "Oh, good. You came."

He raised an eyebrow. "You thought I wouldn't?"

Lily bit her lip. "I wasn't sure."

He grimaced. "So what did you want to talk about?"

She paused. She had been rehearsing in her head all throughout dinner what she was going to say to him but now the time had come her mind had gone blank. He gestured towards the table he was sitting on. "Would you like to have a seat?"

She obliged and sat there for a moment more in silence, gazing at the burning candle that was dripping wax on the floor.

Finally she decided she should say something. "It's about our friendship Sirius."

He nodded. "I figured."

"James came to talk to me today."

Sirius let out a low whistle. "He said he was going to, but I wasn't sure he had the nerve."

"He said that you and him think that I treat you like acquaintances, that I'm not your friend!" now she had begun, she found it difficult to stop. "And he said that Severus is no good for me-"

"Slow down," he said putting up one hand. "If James said that, he was talking on his own behalf. I definitely don't think we're just acquaintances."

She breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm glad. I mean it's horrible that he thinks that, but I was just so worried…"

Sirius chuckled. "Very stealthy," he added. "the way you gave me that letter."

She blushed. "Sorry about your school bag."

He shrugged. "Don't worry about it. However…" he seemed to be choosing his next words carefully. "I do agree with what James said about Snape."

She stood up suddenly. "Why?"

He stood as well. "He's fascinated with the Dart Arts, Lil, you must know that. You're his best friend for crying out loud and you can't see that?"

"he's never said a word about them to me," she said, getting flustered.

"Mmm, well I'm guessing he doesn't want to scare you off."

She rolled her eyes. "No matter how interested he is in the Dark Arts, he's looking out for me! Just as you are, Sirius."

Sirius wisely decided not to say anything.

She shook her head wildly, her eyes blazing. "Why won't you just let me be friends with who I want?"

"I am not going to willingly stand by and watch you get hurt, Evans." he said doggedly.

"You don't know that I'm going to get hurt," she said softly. With that she walked out of the room, leaving Sirius standing there as the flame of the candle flickered into darkness.

The weather was starting to get warm again, as the end of their first year drew closer. Lily wanted to enjoy it as much as possible, taking advantage of the fine weather and persuading Severus to take walks out on the grounds with her. She wanted to enjoy every last moment her, even though she knew she was coming back. Hogwarts was her favourite place in the world. And to think that a year ago she hadn't knew what the word meant!

She didn't talk much to the Gryffindor boys these days. Peter had never talked to her much to begin with. James acted as if they had never met, looking in the other direction when they passed in the hall. She noticed Sirius keeping an eye on her, but ever since their late night meeting, words between the two were awkward and few. Remus gave her a sad smile from time to time, and it was him that she missed the most.

But she knew she had done the right thing. She would have given Severus, her best friend in the world, up for anything. She managed to forget about the other boys, spending her days talking and laughing with Severus.

It was on one of those days that they were lying on the grass, too lazy to walk back up to the castle straight away after one of their evening strolls. Her red hair fanned out below her, her eyes shinning as she gazed at the dusky horizon. Severus sprawled out beside her, his eyes closed.

She was in the mood for a meaningful conversation. She sighed and rolled over on her stomach. "What's your biggest fear?' she asked, almost eagerly.

He studied her, pondering his reply, before he finally answered, "Death."

She put her hand on her chin, her face pensive. The breeze softly blew her red hair. "I think death is a silly thing to be afraid of."

He looked amused. "Why?"

"Because nothing can hurt you when you're dead," she said simply, once again rolling onto her back, the first stars reflecting in her green eyes.

Severus leaned on one arm, facing her. "It's not my death I am afraid of, but rather yours."

She smiled up at him. They didn't say anything for a long while.

Finally she sat up, crossing her legs and started to pull blades of grass out of the ground. "Severus?"

"Hmm?" his eyes were once again closed. He had a slight smile on his face from the sound of her voice saying his name.

She looked up at him hesitantly, her green eyes intense. "Tell me about the Dark Arts."

[x]


	6. A Lily By Any Other Name

**Five Years Later**

The full moon hung low on the horizon. The birds were beginning to chip as the first rays of sunlight softly touched the grounds of Hogwarts. All was still - except the four boys running across the grounds trying to keep their cheers as quiet as they could. It was hard, considering how proud of themselves they were.

"That was really dangerous!" Remus Lupin said uneasily. He looked extremely worn out, his robes torn and tattered.

"Come on, Moony - ha! Moony, get it?" James Potter said, his chest swelling at his own cleverness.

"And what would we call you?" Sirius Black asked his best friend, grinning. "Prongs?"

"Why, I quite like the sound of that… Padfoot." James replied, pushing his glasses up his nose as they had been falling down from his excited behaviour.

"What about me?" Peter piped up. But no one was listening.

"Someone could have been very badly hurt." Remus groaned.

Sirius smacked him on the back heartily. "Come on, that couldn't have been as bad as your other transformations. Weren't you pleased to have some company?"

"I betrayed Dumbledore's trust!" Remus said, his voice rising.

"Fine, fine. We won't do it again." Sirius winked at James.

"Yeah… Never again… stupid of us…"

Remus looked at the two and once again groaned.

"Hey, what do you reckon Evans would say? About us being Animagus?" James said thoughtfully as they headed towards the Great Hall in time for breakfast. After their late night adventure they were starving.

"Hey Lupin," Sirius said with an air of scorn. "What do you think James would say if he were here?"

Remus smiled. "Oh, probably something about Lily Evans."

James scowled at his friends.

The three of them glanced over at the Slytherin table. It seemed like a foreign land to Sirius as much as the others, despite it being the house he was sorted into. He couldn't remember the last time he actually sat over there and every class he was in he either sat with the Gryffindors when he could, or by himself. He only went to the Slytherin common room when he needed to sleep. This wasn't particularly pleasant either, as Snape never hesitated from making snide remarks, which often ended in full blown arguments due to Sirius's inability to keep his mouth shut.

Sirius spotted Lily Evans take a seat beside Avery and Wilkes. Snape hadn't arrived yet. He noted the dark circles under her eyes and the small frown that had always been on her pale face lately. He watched as Wilkes said something to her and she grimaced back at him, the best she could do for a smile. Back in their second year James had confessed to him that he thought she had a smile like the setting sun. looking at her now, you could never tell.

Remus noticed Sirius's gaze and said quietly, "She's changed hasn't she."

"Yep." Sirius sighed and took a bite out of his toast. Suddenly he got an idea. "Remus, I think you should try to talk to her."

A small frown appeared on his delicate face. "I'm sure James would be up for the job."

"You know she won't listen to him."

Meanwhile, James was fervently explaining to Peter in great detail the goal he had scored in last weekends Quidditch match, Peter was nodding along enthusiastically. Remus and Sirius shot him a glance to check he hadn't heard. They were safe.

"She likes you. She'd tell you stuff." Sirius persisted.

Remus didn't talk to Lily as much as he used to. Up until their fourth year they had met up at least once a week in the Library. But time in between meetings became further and further apart and now he was lucky to talk to her once a term. Still, he didn't think it was very loyal to talk to her for the sake of just finding stuff out for Sirius. But who did he owe more loyalties to?

"And what happens then?" he said apprehensively.

"Well, if she's ok, nothing." he shrugged, taking another bite out of his toast.

"And if she's not?" Remus pushed.

They both looked at over at Lily again, who was gazing down at her bowl of cereal, looking as though she wasn't really seeing it at all.

They looked back at each other. Sirius replied furtively, "We'll see."

[x]

_Lily,_

It has been quite some time since our last library encounter. Care to meet me there tonight?

Remus 

Lily chewed on her bottom lip, trying to decide whether she should meet Remus in the library tonight. She sighed, shoved the parchment in her school bag and gave her the owl an quick pat before continuing on her way to Charms.

"Evans! Hey wait! EVANS!"

Lily stopped dead and closed her eyes, wishing the world would open up and swallow her.

"Yes Potter?" she said turning around, eyeing him suspiciously. The only times he ever talked to her they ended up in an argument.

James ran one hand through his hair, making it messier than it already was., the other behind his back. "I, er, have something for you."

She raised her eyebrows. What could James Potter have for her?

Shyly, he took his hand from behind his back and held out a single white lily flower in his hand.

She blinked.

"Do you like it?" he pressed.

"Thanks." she said taking the flower from him. She really didn't know what else to say.

"It's because -"

"Because my name is Lily? I know." throwing him one last quizzical look she turned back around and headed for class.

James stood where he was, feeling crestfallen. It didn't seem like she had liked the flower very much. Well, he thought furiously, no one can say I didn't try.

[x]

Remus studied Lily across the table. She had met him here in the library tonight, something he had not expected. He hadn't seen her up close in a while and he noticed how her hair had turned a deeper shade of red and how her skin was becoming porcelain white. The thing he noticed most, however, was her eyes. They looked dead.

She must have noticed he was looking at her. She let her hair fall in front of her face like a curtain. He could easily see why James and so many other boys had a thing for her. She was very pretty.

"James came to talk to me today." she spoke up.

"Oh?" Remus was surprised; James hadn't mentioned anything.

She looked up at him with the tiniest smile on her lips. "He gave me a lily."

Remus snorted. "Oh dear."

"Oh dear indeed," she said, finally comfortable enough to sweep her hair behind her shoulders, no longer hiding her face. "It was… a sweet gesture, though."

"Did you just compliment James?" Remus said in shock.

She kicked him lightly under the table. "And don't you tell him."

He grinned.

"Speaking of secrets… how is yours going?" she asked.

His smile faded. "It's not a secret anymore."

"You told them?" Lily felt irrationally jealous. That had been _their_ secret, no one else's. But who was the one who kept pushing people away?

He grimaced. "They were going to find out anyway. They were beginning to get suspicious about my once a month disappearances."

Lily nodded.

Remus cleared his throat, wanting to change the subject. He couldn't tell her about Sirius, James and Peter also transforming with him. "So how are you Lily?"

"Good."

"I meant honestly."

She looked down at the table for a moment, and then back up at Remus. "I'm fine." she assured him.

"And how is your friend Severus?" he asked politely.

A slight smile appeared on her face. "He's good."

Remus nodded, but didn't say anything.

Lily looked thoughtful. "We're learning heaps of new spells, Remus. It's _fantastic_." suddenly there was a hungry look in her eyes. "Real life stuff."

"Real… life?" Remus didn't like the sound of that.

"Yeah." she said, getting a dreamy look on her face. "Dangerous, but effective if used appropriately."

"I see."

"Severus knows…" she whispered. "the _crucio_ curse."

Remus stood up suddenly, almost knocking his chair over behind him. "Sorry, I have to be going!" he said a nervous laugh. "It's late!"

She stood up as well. "He'd never use it on a person."

"It's late!" Remus cried again, shoving his books hurriedly into his school bag.

Lily looked forlorn. "Yes. It is. Goodnight Remus."

She left the library before him. He gazed after her hopelessly, wondering what Sirius would say about what had just happened.

[x]

"Tell me."

Remus shook his head. "For the last time, Sirius, it's not my place-"

"Damn it Moony!" Sirius cursed, pulling out his wand. "Tell me now."

Remus eyed his wand warily. "You're joking."

"No, I'm not." he said, staunchly.

Remus sighed. Once he was finished repeating last night's conversation to Sirius, he looked livid.

"Right." Sirius said, breathing heavily. "Right."

"What are you going to do?" Remus asked diffidently.

"Talk to her." he replied.

"Oh and are you going to pull your wand out on her too?" Remus snapped.

[x]

One thing hadn't changed since their first year. Lily still loved to take walks out on the grassy grounds and always managed to persuade Severus to come with her. But on this evening, it wasn't Severus that needed persuading.

"Not right now, Sev. I want to work on this essay." she said, pouring over the parchment in front of her, a tiny ink spot on her nose.

He grabbed her hand. "We won't be long, I promise."

She rolled her eyes, relenting. "Fine."

Once outside, Lily was happy to be there. The sun was just setting and there was a cool breeze. They stopped just short of the forest.

"Sev, what -" she began.

"I bought you a flower." he cut her off. He almost sounded shy, but Lily thought it was funny to think of him as shy.

_Oh no, not again._ She groaned inwardly.

He held out his hand - a single red rose.

"Oh!" she was taken aback. "I expected it to be a lily."

"Any idiot could think of that." he gave her a lopsided smile.

She loved it. A lily just seemed too obvious. This was… beautiful.

"Besides, girls like roses better, don't they? Don't they?" he persisted, his dark eyes anxious.

She smiled, twirling the rose between her fingers. "This girl does."

They smiled at each other, only to be interrupted by the sound of footsteps behind them.

"There you are," said Sirius Black.


	7. Enigma

**Chapter Seven** _Enigma_

**No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks**

"What do you want?" Severus growled.

"Keep your overly large nose out of it Snape." Sirius growled back, the last of the setting sun adding freakish red streaks to his brown hair.

Lily stepped forward. "What is it?" she asked, not wanting a duel to break out between her best friend and her old friend.

Sirius continued to glare at Snape, but addressed Lily. "Dumbledore wants to speak to you in his office."

Lily frowned. What could Dumbledore have to say to her? And why was Sirius here to tell her? Unless… suddenly the conversation with Remus, Sirius's interruption and the meeting with Dumbledore started to make sense.

"Is this your doing?" she was livid.

Finally Sirius tore his eyes away from Snape. He looked as though he were about to answer her question, but changed his mind at the last minute. "Tomorrow, after classes." he added shortly.

______________

Dumbledore gazed down at the red-haired girl over half-moon spectacles. It appeared to him she was not the same bright-eyed student that had arrived at Hogwarts five years ago. She was a shell of her old self, an imprint.

Lily said nothing. She stared directly into the man's face with dead eyes, awaiting him to speak.

After a moment, he chuckled.

"I'm sorry, am I missing something?" _crazy old man_, she thought to herself.

"Yes." he replied, suddenly serious. "I believe you are."

She didn't miss the implication.

"So you think I'm … bad, is that it? Meddling in the dark arts? Preparing to join the Dark Lord the moment I step out of this school? Is this what this is about?" She snapped.

He sighed. "I am afraid that might happen, yes."

She fumed. "Why is it everyone is so quick to think so little of me?"

He considered this. "I believe it is because no one can quite figure you out. You are an enigma, Lily, you must know that."

She looked at the floor and mumbled, "I wish everyone would stop trying to figure me out."

Dumbledore did not respond. Instead he took his wand to his temple and streamed a thin silvery substance into a stone basin that was to his side. He then looked up at Lily. "Did you know you are the only muggle-born ever to be sorted into Slytherin?"

She flinched. She was not proud it. It had made her more of an outcast than she had ever been in the muggle world.

"I did know that."

"Yes, it is quite peculiar. I sometimes think it has done you a grave injustice."

She stiffened. "Why?"

"Because I know what you are now considering." he said, looking into her face with such intensity she felt like he could see through to her every secret, every desire. "You and your friend Severus Snape. Life has dealt you both a poor hand and you are acting accordingly. But I ask of you this Lily: don't act accordingly. Your loyalty to Severus is admirable but his future is not yours. You don't have to do this."

She stood up, knocking her chair over behind her. "I know I don't have to," she hissed. "can I also choose not to have this conversation?"

He sighed, as if defeated. "you may, you may…."

She spun on her heel and grasped the door knob. It would not budge. She turned back to glare at the headmaster.

"Oh and before you go," he said, his hands serenely clasped in front of him on his desk. "I might ask you to pass on a message to your friend Sirius Black."

"What is it?"

Blue met the green.

"Thank him from me. For doing the best he could to save you."


End file.
